Della Frances McAfee & Stanley David Breed

This is a picture of my dad with Grandma & Grandpa Breed.

Della was born to Samuel Francis McAfee and Katherine Isabelle Farquaharson (Ferguson) on December 7, 1898 in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I have no proof that they were ever married. In fact, when I found information on Katherine I have found a marriage certificate for her marriage to James Thomas Finnigan, where she states that this was her first marriage. (She was also married to a Fred Wilson) For all I know she could have been lying… because there are other sources that say that they were married, and I discovered a pension for her from Samuel where she is noted as a widow. So, it’s a little confusing. If they were married it wasn’t for long… but I’ll get into that another time!

I don't think Grandma lived with them for long... she was 'adopted' by another couple...Frank and Lida McNamara...I found a 1910 census where she was living with them.

Stanley David Breed was born on November 11, 1893 to George Jarvis Breed and Rhoda Rhuamar Dixon in Manlius, Illinois. We don’t know a whole lot about him… but here is what we have an idea of:

1)      He had some difficulty in life due to serving in the war.

2)      He was not a good provider for his family… Patty said she remembers that he was a ‘hobo’.

3)      He died from a heart attack on his way to meet me, I was six months old. He was on a train and had a heart attack… in Cheyenne, Wyoming.

My dad didn’t talk about his dad much. I’m pretty sure they had a rough life. In fact my dad had to quit school and go to work in 9^th grade to support the family. More on that when I go into his life!

Together they had 10 children: Dorothy, Dale, Pat (Dolores), Arelone, Dwight, Rosella, Clarence, daughter, Lineah and Dennis.

Della, Grandma Breed, was a hard worker. She was always trying to find ways to make money… she mended things for others, ironed, did whatever she could. She was very proud to have so many grandchildren and I remember her often sharing with us what the current count was. (Anyone know where we ended up at?)

Patty shared the following: “I don’t know where to start. I will have to give this some thought. As a 12 year old going through some hard times. We lived with grandma. At the time she was both mean, and looking back she was nice then too. Grandma did teach us a lot; how to clean, do laundry, to be honest. That good hard work hurt no one. She did help teach me to sew.

“I can tell you a story. When I was 12 she sent me to the store to get a can of tomatoes. I saw the candy bars by the cash register so I bought one. I ate it on the way home. I gave grandma the tomatoes and the change. Well she knew right away it was minus a nickel. So she sent me back to get the nickel. Oh boy, I prayed and watching the ground hoping to find a nickel. And I did. I looking back I wonder, what was I doing? I knew the store wasn’t going to give me a nickel. I should have owned up to what I did, but I was really scared.”

From my perspective, which is vastly different from other’s experiences with her, I’d say that Grandma was super loving, if you were on her good side… if you weren’t she let you know it, and never let up on it. 

In fact, Carol, tells the following story:

“When my girls were older, they didn’t get along with Grandma Breed, too well. Especially Kimberly, she is the youngest. One day, I had had enough of their little bickering, and told them to stop, and what was wrong with the two of them. They both were two little children… Kimberly thought that Grandma Breed didn’t like her, and Grandma thought that Kimberly didn’t like her. They both come to understand that wasn’t the truth at all… just a misperception. In fact, Grandma put on her shoes, and she and both my girls took a walk to the corner store, and were fine from that day on. I still smile when I think of that day."

Carol also shared, “She was a good woman, and taught me more than she even knew. I learned more from her than anyone. I love her beyond words. She was rough at times, but truly a softie when she let you in. I have jokingly told people that my grandmother was so tough, she ate nails for breakfast! I miss her, and always will. I am so grateful to have had her in my life. Even when my children were getting older she told me that she was disappointed in me for not having them in Sunday School. Well, guess what! I immediately found a church and we, as a family, all went together! Both my girls were baptized in this same church.”

Patty said, “When my father was still alive every Sunday we went for a Sunday drive and went to grandmas. My dad called grandma ‘old battle axe’. Grandma knew her name and liked it!”

Sharon shared this about her experiences with Grandma, “Grandma Breed was the paternal grandmother I never had. After my real father died, my paternal grandmother had nothing to do with Howard and I. Mom tried to send her school pictures and keep her posted, but she nothing to do with us, no contact. (I will NEVER understand that! Boy did she miss out!) Grandma Breed is truly my “real” paternal grandmother. She NEVER made me feel anything but her real grandchild. She was always kind to me.

“I recall her having me spend the night with her a number of times. She’d cook her famous French fries or corn fritters every time. She’d talk with me, showed me how to iron, even let her have her bed to sleep in when I stayed. It used to crack me up when she’d go off in a fit, because I knew better. It didn’t bother me a bit, it often would make me giggle inside, because in my heart I knew she was a softy in so many ways. I remember her letting my parents use her Grant Card at Christmas to buy me a bicycle for under the tree and they’d pay her back with their tax return. She didn’t want me to be without a bike. I also remember her getting so mad at dad (Clarence) and yelling at him because she wanted to buy me a hope chest on my 16^th birthday and he wouldn’t have any part of it. Boy, was she giving it to him! I remember her telling me, “I wanted to give you a hope chest, but ‘whozawitz’ wouldn’t let me! I loved her dearly and remember she’d have me laughing with all her ‘what’s her names’ and ‘whozawitz’! You know, ‘ol’ whatsername’!

“I remember when she lived with mom and dad on Clark Rd in Paradise and she had her own room. Well, when that little TV was going or her radio in the morning you knew not to disturb her because that was her time for her important radio station or soap opera!

“I knew Grandma could get mad and yell, and so may saw her as grump…but I never did. I saw her as an older woman whose tolerance grew thinner over time due to the hardships she had endured. I look to her this day as a woman who could show me love and acceptance without reservation, even if bloodlines weren’t there…showing that her heart and soul were kind even if a wall had been built around it, and that her heart was big enough to break through that wall and still show love and express herself, even if it was just to vent! I will never have anything but love in my heart for Grandma Breed.”

Patty says, “Grandma told me many things, but I would ask. I wanted to know. Grandma had a very hard life, she was abused by her real parents and her adopted parents. She really was a hard working lady. She did people’s ironing for 10 cents apiece. She cleaned people’s houses and got on her knees and did their floors. She babysat for people. Everyone called her Miss Breed, and all the kids called her Grandma Breed…Oh, I was jealous! That was our grandma!”

I remember all of us thinking Grandma would live forever! She just kept on going, no matter how her health was! I was surprised when she passed away on September 26, 1977. She died at age 78, almost 79. She affected all of our lives… for good or bad. She was a hard worker, devoted to her family, and loved having a large family. My dad would have done anything for her. I am certain that he felt he owed her so much, especially since she basically raised them all on her own.

If you have any other stories you’d like to share regarding Grandma you can either send me a message on facebook or email me at sandydell@gmail.com. We have all been able to overcome the challenges and trials life has brought us. I am certain we received some of Grandma’s fortitude and ability to overcome obstacles. I am grateful for that!